Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

MARCH 27, 1998 Our wedding reception is set for April 4 at the Pagoda Restaurant, just a few days after our fourth anniversary. I feel that sense of anticipation that brides get. I didn't really get it in November. I don't know why; I guess there's just something about a big party that makes it feel real. Of course, there's no ceremony this time, but it still makes me happy to plan it and think about it. My parents aren't coming after all, and I feel...betrayed. We set this date especially for them and they backed out. They were really worried about my grandma at the time and figured they were going to have to go visit. They never did, but mom ended up quitting her job, so now they can't afford it anyway. Why didn't they plan better? My dad didn't go to my high school graduation. I was really angry about that for a long time, and ever since then, I figured I'd at least be with them at my wedding, but no. Couldn't they just try? It seems as if it's not that important to them. Doubly so, now that they have a granddaughter. Katie is growing so, so fast. She tried to grab her rattle from my hand today. She is truly my all-consuming passion. What really bugs me is that sometimes I find myself feeling tired and less-than-cheerful in the face of diaper duty at 2 am. I always felt that good mothers lept happily out of bed, cherishing any opportunity to gaze into the faces of their angels. I love her, and it is a joy to spend so much time with her. I hate hating getting out of bed. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >