Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

APRIL 2, 1998 I didn't fully explain the whole church thing the other day. I have a strange relationship with His Nibs. My parents were strict Catholics, so we went to church every week and sat in Sunday school, where the sacraments and the saints were shoved down our throats. My love of God was based mostly in fear then. Suddenly, I turned sixteen and became a hippie. Sixties retro was the big fad. I truly believed what I embraced, though, unlike my peers. I became a vegetarian (very, _very_ short-lived), stopped wearing makeup and thouroughly shunned organized religion. Any mention of faith or values made me nervous, and it stayed that way for a very long time. Now, it's a little different. Maybe I just changed when I became a mother. I don't know. I suppose I've just never gotten enough proof that there isn't a God, so I have to have faith, just in case. And yes, I'm just grateful, too. A year ago, Ryan and I were separated and I had no idea what was next. Now I have a husband and an amazing daughter. Ryan's mom is going full-tilt on this party. She's making centerpieces and buying leis for us and our guests. She's such a wonderful person. I'm really nervous, though. This feels like a rite of passage of sorts. I hope I'll never have to plan another wedding reception before Katie's. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >