Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

AUGUST 6, 1998 Work is getting ugly. Because I'm feeling particularly pissed, I'm going to tell you all about it. But all the names have been omitted so I don't get my ass fired, because I know one or more of my coworkers reads this, and I don't know how he feels about the situation. One person is basically causing -- through his nasty moods -- everybody to be mad at everybody else for one reason or another. His inability to relate to people is just contributing very heavily to an atmosphere of insecurity, hostility, and overall bitchiness. From what I understand, this mood has been brewing for a while, but it's finally coming to a head now thanks to one coworker. This coworker is reknowned for laziness and everybody else -- unable to pick up the slack at all times -- is being blamed for it. We could all complain, but it is now a moot point because this person will be gone very soon. Another coworker is a bit of a control freak. Personal space is one thing, but when you freak out over a crumpled piece of paper near a wastebasket for three days, that's just insane. And now, it is alledged that several of my coworkers will be fired this week, and I often fear I wll be one of them. Though I hate it, it's a fact that my family needs me to remain employed. And while I often find myself thinking, "Any job would be better than this one," I've also worked at Burger King (when I was 16) and Blockbuster Video (for about 2 months a couple of years ago), and I know I could be doing much worse. I guess I'm just upset that the office is just thick with bad vibes. When it comes to jobs, Ryan said that shouldn't matter, because you go to work for the money and the benefits and not for the company of other people. But I argued that it is very hard to work when you feel uncomfortable. I don't think Ryan has ever had a job he didn't like. I've been keeping my eye out for other jobs, though, just in case. One of my coworkers -- one of my allies, since she had my job before I did and knows what I go through every day -- is leaving for a clerical position. I would love a job like that, just a sit-at-your-desk-and-mind-your-own-business deal. During a recent check-up at Kapi`olani Medical Center, Ryan found job listings for clerks in various departments, and I'm probably going down there soon to get more information. Even though I haven't got much in the way of medical training, I have worked at a nursing home, and I've been a Kelley Girl and a secretary at UH Hilo. Most require little more than a high school diploma, and with an Associate's Degree in elementary education and the ability to speak English should give me a leg up. I don't want to work. If I had a choice, I'd stay home with Katie. But we need the insurance. I feel horrible because my daughter is in her most crucial stage of development and I'm wasting my time in this silly, underpaid position when I could be reveling in the changes in my daughter's life. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >