Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

February 24, 1999 I am such a cranky old bat. Is it a function of my age or am I just not a nice person anymore? I'm watching the Grammys and I've come up with something snide to say about everyone. Madonna's accent. Shania's skimpy outfit. Tim McGraw's hat. Can I just be gracious sometimes? Occasionally, I'm such a pain in the ass I can't even stand myself. I was always kind of bitchy, but mommy hormones have made me so cranky that I wonder how my husband deals with it. I've been a full-time mom for about six months now. I'm really happy and I love being with my daughter every day, but sometimes I wish I had other mommies to commiserate with. I've been going to church again since K's baptism and I thought that my church must have a Mommy & Me group, but it doesn't, so I'm going to start my own. (Ricky Martin is performing on the awards now. Wow.) The church thing is a little strange. It seems like the right thing to do and it feels good, but honestly, as always, there are certain things about it that I don't necessarily agree with. I'm not sure how to reconcile my religion with my liberal point of view. So far it hasn't come up, except that my husband thinks my priest is evil because of his position on same-sex marriage. I don't agree with my priest either, but you know what? It doesn't make him a bigot or a bad person. It makes him a Catholic priest. Besides that, there's a comfort I get from church that way outweighs any political issue. K keeps growing at a frightening pace. She says "hello" and "cat" and waves at strangers. She's so beautiful that passers by just can't help themselves. My parents visited for her birthday and they just went crazy for her. They'd never met her; she'd managed to live out her first year only meeting one set of grandparents. I think of how it must be for my mom and dad. They'd only seen pictures and heard her babble during our phone conversations, but she's their flesh and blood; a real live descendant and she's so far away. I would just go crazy if I had to go a day without her. Some random observations: Paul Stanley is the male Cher. Or Cher is the female Paul Stanley, whoever came first. The girl in the Joan of Arc miniseries looks exactly like Helen Hunt. The Food Network doesn't run "Ruggerio to Go" anymore. Pity. Meanwhile, Bobby "I can use a grill and I am soooooo hip" Flay is on every single time I turn the channel. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >