Hale Kilinahe: The Journal

DECEMBER 5, 1997 Okay, so that last entry was a little PMS-y. Sorry. That ad just totally rubbed me the wrong way. The whole "supermodel" thing is just so backwards. What is it about this society that discourages self-esteem? There's a new Led Zeppelin album out. It's a bunch of BBC performances from throughout the years, and among them are some never-released songs. I must have it. I have every single one of their CD's plus the two box sets. They are by far my favorite band. And when I finally buy it, I won't remove it from the stereo until my husband yells at me. Do you have the same suspicion that I do? That Tupac isn't really dead? When they said he died, last year, I thought it was terrible; an unnecessary, untimely death, but he's been so prolific lately that I wonder if he had time to do all of that in the short time that passed between his success and his death. Two movies; several soundtracks, two full-length albums... There's something so magnetic about a talent cut down in the prime of his life, and everybody knows it. If Jim Morrison had lived to be fifty, people definitely wouldn't be paying 12 bucks for their CDs. I'm starting to show. It's so obvious now that customers ask me about it. I feel a combination of pride and impatience; I just want the baby already! People do treat pregnant women somewhat differently. I sense genuine curiosity and concern in the questions that people ask; I just wish I could say more than "well, I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet" and "oh, I'm due in January". I want to share the thrilling details of the first smile and the first words. But I'm sure I'll have to pay people to be interested by that point. I was showing before, but I've really gotten big in the past week. This week has been a turning point in this pregnancy, I think. I'm starting to get painless contractions. My biggest fear is going into labor at work. < BACK | TOP | NEXT >