Dear Alex,

Somehow, a year has come and gone since you were born. What a blessing you are and what a blessing the last year has been.

You are growing so fast. You're a little boy now. You have a great sense of humor. Remember when we played peek-a-boo with the plastic sheep from Zac's farm toy yesterday? I had you in stitches for half an hour. After a while, you didn't find it funny anymore but still humored me with a fake laugh.

You know what else we did yesterday? We sat you at the table with us at dinner and set you up with your very own plate. That's the first time we did that. You were content to eat little bits of rice and small pieces of meat from the lap of whoever was holding you, but you're a big boy now, so it's only fitting that you eat like one. And you did wonderfully. Zac has a maddening monopoly on the sippy cups, so you made do with a small lidless cup and didn't spill a drop.

You're not walking yet, but you're thinking about it. You hang out on the edges of furniture. I can see the wheels in your head turning when something you want is not quite within your reach. You want to walk over and pick it up, but you're still building up the nerve. That's okay. Take your time. I kind of like you the way you are now.

Mama

in the ear: "Invisible Girl" by Minnie Driver

I said I was going to home school Katie at the end of last year. Well, I didn't. She's back at the school down the street. And I don't know why.

Yes, actually, I do know why. I'm lazy. I don't want to call people. I don't want to go and buy the materials. I don't know how I'm going to do chores and teach Katie at the same time and I don't want to figure it out.

I think I'm going to have to. And that scares me.

I don't hate her school. It's perfectly adequate. It's just not doing anything for her. It's failing to meet her needs. I don't know if it's because of anything I did as a parent, or if it's something to do with Katie, or if they're all just stretched out to the max over there, but something is preventing Katie from learning and it's not going to go away.

God help me.

Posted by: Lynn Vasquez at August 23, 2005 10:54 PM

Posted by: Pam at August 24, 2005 05:53 PM

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