Barefoot Contessa Posted to Teevee at 09:44 PM on Jul 28, 2003 « Monster's Ball | Main | Knockaround Guys » Ina Garten bugs me. I really want to like her, because she's a regular woman who likes to cook on a channel otherwise dominated by Emeril and that weatherman with the show featuring p.r. flunkies talking about their products. She's likeable, but I can't stand her, and there's one of three reasons why: 1. She mumbles. She has a severe mumbling problem. She talks reallyfast and really low, so you hear only a word here and there: "murmur murmur arugula murmur whisk murmur". And it wouldn't be so bad, if you could watch what she's doing and try to copy it, which leads me to... 2. That nauseating editing that's been plaguing Ina, as well asTyler's Ultimate and the latest Jamie Oliver spazzfest. I don't want to see the eggs falling into the bowl from an inch away, thank you. Back up. This isn't Ina's fault, but it's no fun to see someone try to be all artsy on a cooking show. It's just annoying. 3. She likes to cook, and she does, but she's filthy rich and seems to have mucho time on her hands and doesn't seem to mind showing us this. It's as if she's thinking: "scramble the eggs. While you're doing that, look at my gorgeous mansion in the Hamptons. Look. I have a kitchen the size of your apartment. I can afford lobster. Look at me. Look at my Mercedes. Wow, did you know I live on the beach? Look at my rich, snotty friends. I cook breathtaking meals for all of them. Aren't I fabulous?". It's like Martha Stewart, but only less frugal and married to someone in a hideously overpaid profession. It's one of the three. Or maybe all of them. Barefoot Contessa airs on the Food Network