Hale Kilinahe: Pith of Pop: Family Plots

In the first season of Family Plots, we met and got to know the employees of a nice, normal family business. They fought and got up in each other's faces occasionally, but, you know, nothing too weird.

As is the case with many reality television stars, the crew gained fans. Unlike other people riding out their fifteen minutes on the tube, the regulars on the show have to deal with their adoring public at work.

Recently, a couple who met in a spousal berevement support group got married in the mortuary. Another fan flew in from Michigan, ostensibly to help the gang start up their website, but it was quite obvious that she was there to hook up with the owner of the joint, Rick.

Rick supervises a gentleman named Chuck and his three daughters. Melissa is the eldest daughter. She once dated the boss man. Rick is in a huge hurry to get married (again) and he gave Missy an ultimatum: marry him or lose him. They broke up, and for reasons that will baffle me until the end of time, Melissa continues to work there at the mortuary. Every week is like a rerun of Degrassi Junior High. Rick ducks out early to avoid her. They profess undying spite for each other on camera. Rick gets weepy. He drunk-dials. And on and on. Melissa is forty-one years old and has delusions of Carrie Bradshaw.

Chuck is an ex-boxer. He's also getting along in years. So he has his share of what I like to call "senior moments". Along with his fogetful moments come little hints of sudden and frightening rage. Chuck does a lot of stupid stuff and the person who usually cleans up Chuck's messes is his middle daughter, Shonna. Shonna has the patience of a saint.

The family works alongside Funeral Directors John and David and Matt, who, from what I can tell, does a little of everything. David is the most interesting and quirky personality on staff.

Family Plots, along with my super-secret guilty pleasure, Dog the Bounty Hunter, both run on A&E and, oddly, are the only two reality shows I watch. There's something about both shows that's very honest and compelling. I think the next big thing will be reality shows about people's jobs. I hope someone produces another version of The Restaurant that's not a big commercial.